It’s hard for me to accept that the memories I have with Papa are all I’m ever going to get.
I was closer to him than to anyone I’ve lost in the past and that makes this experience more sobering than any I’ve ever had.
What I’ve gained from this is confirmation that what they say is true, it really is the little things that count. And while not every small moment with Papa was significant, it’s the way remembering those moments makes me feel that I know I’ll never forget. And so even though most of these are pretty silly, I want to share a number of my memories of him now.
Having Jerry Walters for a grandfather made for an incredible childhood. It wasn’t just his enormous movie collection or stockpile of sweets. It went beyond the go-cart, golf-cart, swimming pool, and pool room. It was the way he could make us laugh. And I’m not talking about his insults, I mean jokes. I’m talking about his hilarious trade marks.
The Ronald Reagan mask, the John Wayne cut-out, the pickled eggs. His custom signage around the house, his fear of buttons, his horrific driving, his uneventful home videos, his “command” seat. The way he didn’t like the food to touch on his warmed up plate, and the way he could never just sing along to songs, he had to sing ahead of theme — as if giving us a preview of every verse.
But despite the complete and total oddness of Papa’s quirks, I find myself wishing I could endure just one more Paducah story about relatives I will never meet; just one more tedious game of Scrabble or 20 Questions; just one more lipless, wire-y mustache kiss.
I never thought I would miss his two-hour breakfast process, but I do. I miss the way he would yodel my name when he needed something. I miss watching him plow snow with that excessively big tractor. I miss the way sweat would bead up on his bald head when he was focused on project and I miss the red handkerchief he kept on hand to wipe it away.
I cherish every lesson and every quality I got from Papa. And so while my heart was broken not to have him at the head of the table last night, I knew exactly what to be thankful for — the memory of my extraordinary grandfather, the fragile beauty of life, and the family I am surrounded by today. I love each and every one of you more than words could ever express.
Bailey
11/25/2017